Softmindreminders

Tag: Emotions

  • Rejection, why does it hurt so much?

    Rejection, why does it hurt so much?

    Everyone knows how it feels to be rejected. Is it from your dream college, job, a relationship, or even a friendship? It feels heart shattering, as if you receive a dagger in the chest and now you have to learn how to live with it.

    It always feels personal, as if you are not good enough or need to change something about yourself to fit it. Sometimes it even feels like your world is about to cave in.

    Those emotions you feel are not your reality, is it? Did it really change you, is it ever so bad as your emotions are making it up to be? Does your world ever really crush into pieces because a job said ‘no’ to you? Or when a relationship didn’t work out?

    More often than not, when time goes by, you can see why the relationship ended or why the job wasn’t a great fit for you to begin with. It wasn’t you, it even wasn’t them, it just wasn’t a great match. You know and feel when something just clicks together, when something just makes sense.

    For example, one time I had an interview for a job. On paper this job was the perfect fit for me, I could imagine myself working there everyday. It just felt amazing reading the description. But when I went in for the interview, the person who I was talking to felt very stressed, worked up and was not happy to be there. That is how it felt. My body went from excitement, to being confused and when he was very cold with his answers, I got a little intimidated. That was not the feeling I was hoping for, I need something in my life that gives me extra life, not extra stress. This job suddenly felt very hasty, stressed and judgemental.

    So afterwards I was dismissed because I did not know enough about a certain topic, which is easy to learn about.

    Even though I felt like this was not the job I was hoping it to be and felt in my body that this was not a match, it still hurt so much when I got rejected. Even though I know if I wasn’t rejected, that I had rejected the offer.

    Weird isn’t it?

    There are positives to it though, because of this I got to experience something new and learn about what I certainly do not want and therefore know what I do want.

    I also believe that this will somehow bring you to a path where you are led to a job, relationship or friendship that does add to your life. When something belongs together, it will find each other and staying in a place because it feels familiar, but only gives you stress, is not what anybody needs.

    Rejection does not have to be negative, it brings extra information in your life and it never ever is personal. We make it personal, because it definitely feels like it is, but it never is.

    You are way stronger than you think you are and go after what makes you happy. Try not to fit in someone else’s box, try to fit in your own.

    Love

    x

    Softmindreminders

  • Overcoming Negative Emotions for Better Well-Being

    What is it about feeling good, that feels so easy but yet is so difficult to maintain?
    We all like to feel good, we all love to laugh (I hope), we all thrive with good friendships and lots of love that we either give or receive. We all love these things, but still whenever we feel good, why is it that we think about reasons to not feel too good, so we don’t get disappointed or heartbroken later?

    Why is it that since we are getting older, we are getting more ‘realistic’, who says that being ‘realistic’ is a great way of living, or is the way of living? I think being ‘realistic’ holds you back. I think getting yourself in a box, or listening too much to how others perceive you, is holding yourself back.

    We should feel good, all or most of the time! We should be grateful and happy were we are, even if it is not the most perfect place were you want to be.

    Emotions like frustration, anger, impatient, overwhelmed are emotions that are trying to tell you something. They are trying to say things like, this is not a place where you can be at ease, or if you feel frustrated it most definitely means that you are just trying too hard. You are trying to control things that can’t be controlled, or you are way too deep in it and do no longer see the easy way out. You feel almost helpless.

    You can feel so frustrated or irritated when you lose a key, or a glove, anything really and you keep searching with feelings of frustration and most of the time you do not find that key in that emotion. How often does it happen that you are so frustrated when you can’t find it, and the next day you find it in the most logical place. You left it there, but yet because you were feeling so negative you could not think straight.

    Why are we feeling those emotions? Every emotion has its own relevance, I get that. There are positive aspects about every feeling, even though it is sometimes hard to see. I feel like anger tells you things you don’t like and than it is up to you to listen to that emotion and see the thing you don’t like and try to give that thing less attention.

    If you are angry about a situation or a friend, try to think less of it. Don’t try to fix it immediately or dwell in the feeling of helplessness.